Agile Complexification Inverter

Countless times I've heard people say they hate the Scrum joke about the pig and chicken .  Some people just can't tell a joke. Jeff Sutherland points the fickle finger of fate at Ken Schwaber for starting this fable : I've hated having to tell teams this joke... the lore of the Scrum pig and chicken is so pervasive that before long someone is going to call someone else a chicken (or a pig)... and then you have to tell the joke to help that person retain face... it can be quite uncomfortable for me. I think my disdain for this joke has to do with two of American's least favorite farm animals being featured.  We call people chickens to say they have little courage.  We call people a pig to insult their appearance (clothing choices, weight, manners).  Had the joke featured a cat and dog... it would be so different - wouldn't it? Now Jake it appears has taken this joke metaphor to a new level...  good job Jake! See Also: It is 2018 and this j...

Here's the 2016 Pumpkin decorating contest loser.  It's been a real LEAN year for the Scrum team. Have you heard of a MVP - Minimal Viable Pumpkin? Minimal Viable Pumpkin (MVP) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_startup

The new and revised edition of Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs for the 21st Century. See Also: The Starbuck's Test

The Hokey Pokey   — by William Shakespeare O proud left foot, that ventures quick within Then soon upon a backward journey lithe. Anon, once more the gesture, then begin: Command sinistral pedestal to writhe. Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke, A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl. To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke. Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl. The Hoke, the poke — banish now thy doubt Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about. From a Washington Post Style Invitational contest, that asked readers to submit instructions for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (as written by Shakespeare), written by Jeff Brechlin, of Potomac Falls, Maryland.   Source . A rehab center with a mission. David Koontz - CHPI

Perhaps you have heard of the S.O.L.I.D. software design principles of Object Oriented Design, but lack the motivation to practice the principles in every day coding.  If this is your problem, then here is the solution.  Six motivational posters to visualize and remember the principles.  Print them out and display then in your team room.  Watch the quality meter go up.     Single Responsibility Principle Liskov Substitution Principle Open / Closed Principle Interface Segregation Principle Dependency Inversion Principle SOLID Motivational Posters , by Derick Bailey , is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License . See Also:     The S.O.L.I.D. Principles in Pictures by Ugonna Thelma - illustrated via robots       Agile is an Integral Equation .       The Four Elements of Simple Design      ...

Wow - look at the number of people that are sponsoring this awesome idea,   Agile in a Can .  Proving once again that crowdsourcing is the 21st century answer to robber-barrons of the 19th century.  Yes - "the 21st century is when it all changes" - Capt. Jack Harkness. You should hurry over to Agile In A Can website to get in on this once in a life time deal. Limited supplies of the active ingredients will make this product more and more valuable into the future. 

Oh the irony of a Pig and Chicken paradigm. If you know of the Scrum parable of the pig and chicken.  Then you may find this story humorous.   I'm working with a group trying to teach them just enough Scrum to form a project team.  Trying to facilitate just enough team formation to allow them to self organize.  We planed a 3 day workshop, to be immediately followed by sprint one.  It went well.  Although some troubling patterns were apparent, we summoned up the courage to keep moving forward. Fast forward to Sprint Two's planning session.  Only three of the seven team members were at the planning session, one had to leave for an hour during the session.  The product owner did not appear, the scrum master had a higher priority meeting.  Summing more courage to venture into the unknown the 3 team members and the two coaches (we pair coach teams) ventured into the unknown. We discussed the obvi...

What is it lately - everyone wants to get into the Manifesto authorship racket.  When I was growing up - only commies and the unibomber wrote manifestos. Well after taking a stroll through the internet, there are quite a few nice manifestos out there .  Here are a few that I subscribe to... The Agile Manifesto - four comparative value statements and 12 principles for how to build better software.  With an industry failure rate of 72% boy do we need a manifesto! The ScrumMaster Manifesto - because this is a group of people that are downtrodden every day.  Sitting in a seat for 2 days straight without nodding off is no bais for a system of government - to paraphrase Dennis  - come see the violence inherent in the system. The Manifesto for Software Craftsmanship - because we need the bar raised. The Mother [bleep]  ing Manifesto for Programming Mother [bleep]  ers - because sometime a four letter word says more than a wel...

If you enjoy the classic pig and chicken joke that Ken likes to tell, then you will enjoy the Implementing Scrum Cartoons . There must be 100 of them, so if you want to illustrate a Scrum dysfunction, there is probably a cartoon for you. If your cartoon taste are a bit retro - try SCRUM NOIR: A Silo to Hell!  My review at Amazon : In a dark and wet city that never sleeps Ace is confronted with the constant techniques that appear to work in delivering software; "work", that is if appearing busy and always having a competing department to blame for missing milestones on the project plan that no one ever thought was possible is your managers definition of WORK. So how does one change the mindset of leaders and workers? How does one show that collaboration and measuring visible working software (and tested functionality) is a better way of managing projects? Why does the format of a graphic novel work so well for this common type of moral play? Well one answer is that ...

MacWorld just ran an article with this new iPad telephoto lens adapter. The Super Gear Telescope 6x Zoom For Apple iPad 2.  I knew I should have patented my earlier design. I’ve been taking all my pictures with this new lens and camera combination for the iPhone.  The image quality is great from edge to edge and the telephoto zoom allows image reach from Illahee, WA to Ketchikan, AK. iDuct Systems EF mounting hardware The Canon 100 - 400 F IS zoom lens is mounted to the iPhone with iDuct Systems custom hardware ($8.97 at Ace Hardware). Canon 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L IS L-series super telephoto zoom lens equipped with an Image Stabilizer. The fluorite and Super UD-glass elements largely eliminate secondary spectrum. The floating system also ensures high picture quality at all focal lengths. The Image Stabilizer has two modes and it is compatible with Extenders 1.4x II and 2x II. I should have patented the design. Update: ...

The U S. S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. According to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water , 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."  Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November.  She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, she set sail for England.  In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each. By 26 January, her powder and shot...

Yes copied right from Wikipedia for your reading pleasure. A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis. Examples "If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson "If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert "You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing — after they have tried everything el...

 See also:   And they called it Scrum (iteration 5) I'm sitting here drinking a Big Orange and thinking about Scrum.  How much does this monologue sound like your management or C-level? And they call it Football (YouTube). Andy Griffith's famous 1953 stand-up monologue about college football. It has become one of the most beloved comedy recordings of all time. The illustrations used in this video were drawn by George Woodbridge, a Mad Magazine artist. Listen to Andy ( what Dialect is that? ) mentally map Football to Scrum. I grew up in the shadow ( pulse 85 miles ) of Pilot Mountain, NC. ... see next iteration of this topic ...

I'm always amazed at people who quote "Good fences make good neighbors" and don't know that they should be doing so with irony in their voice.  Had they studied the poem, rather than the cliff notes, they would likely have gotten that irony is required when quoting Mr Frost's Mending Wall . An asside on the Roman God Terminus - the god of boundaries. The festival of the Terminalia was celebrated in Rome and in the country on the 23rd of February.  The neighbors on either side of any boundary gathered around the landmark [the stones which marked boundaries], with their wives, children, and servants; and crowned it, each on his own side, with garlands, and offered cakes and, bloodless sacrifices. In later times, however, a lamb, or sucking pig, was sometimes slain, and the stone sprinkled with the blood. Lastly, the whole neighborhood joined in a general feast. Related Post:  To build fences or to irragate.

Just a lose collection of fun/funny and sometime informative videos about Agile / Scrum and software development. Halloween's MVP (minimal viable pumpkin) An Agile Law Commercial about how to handle crying in a retrospective . Agile Law - no crying in retro Developer abuse . Automatic build process . Hit and Run build Breaker . High Moon Studios – An Agile Game Developer What is Scrum? A group of self-anointed experts on Scrum in game development do their best to avoid answering the question. Impediment Monkey . Hey, I think I know the impediment monkey! An Agilist meets a Waterfaller. Mingle from ThoughtWorks Studios on a Nintendo Wii Try another way . 5-Steps to Project Success (Seriously!) Don't know what you don't know An excerpt from a software development speech that Jim McCarthy gave to Microsoft Consulting when he was in charge of C++ (now Visual Studio). What's the name of the project? In this movie " I want t...

The mythical 2×4 stretcher analogy. When I was in high school I worked with the school maintenance crew. This was in the late 1970s when schools were growing and therefore tearing down old buildings to construct new modern building on the site. Given that construction of the new building would take several years the problem of where to house classrooms durning the destruction/construction years was typically solved by building classrooms in the gym and auditorium. The first summer I worked with the crew we were constructing one of these temporary classrooms in a gym. I was the gopher for Ike, and old codger who was always up to something. One fellow was measuring and calling out dimensions and Ike and I were cutting 2×4s to length, as fast as we could go. I would hold the 2×4 on the saw horses and Ike would measure, mark, and cut, then I would run the piece over to a pair that would nail it in place. We were all working fast, a well functioning team. When Ike, exclaimed, “$#!T, I...